A couple of weeks back I wrote a piece for Parentdish on this very subject:
What not to say to a bereaved family.
It was something I really wanted to write about and it was quite a cathartic process. My friend Helen read the piece before I sent it and said that I sounded very angry.
I think that's a key aspect of grief that can be overlooked. People think you will be sad, despairing, heartbroken you name it, and of course you are, but rage can be equally overpowering.
Think about it. Perhaps like Lisa, whom I quoted in the article, you lose your husband 24 hours after learning he is ill, you are 35 years old and you have two young children.
Then someone tells you: "I know how you feel, my rabbit just died."
I think you'd be pretty angry too.
It's a puzzle to me as to why we don't talk about grief much. I'm grateful for all the kind words and concern people have shown me over the past year or so. I'm sorry I sound so angry.
But I'm getting there.
Thanks for reading.