I've started this blog as people kept telling me I should. I was totally against the idea, believing mine and my family's pain to be nobody else's business.

But one Saturday afternoon wracked with grief, I decided I needed to write about how I was feeling. And then I hit publish.

Getting this down, seeing people's comments and responding to them helped me. I also hope it may help other people too, by showing some they aren't alone or by explaining a little to those not affected by loss how it can feel, even though everybody's experience is different.

There are no rules to grief, no rights or wrongs in terms of when, why and how we feel it.

I'm heartbroken but I've made a promise we are going to keep. I promised Neil we would be okay. I hope one day we will be and this blog can continue to help me along that path.

I am not ashamed of my grief. It's the price we pay for love, and I love Neil with all my heart.

This blog is about grief, hope and love, after losing half of me.

Thank you for reading.


  1. What a brave thing to do and by so doing, you can get those feelings out and connect with others and help them too. You are a special lady.
    I will read your posts and thank you for your recent comment on my blog.
    I have a friend who lost her husband last year. If you feel contact with her might help at all, just let me know via kateonthinice@gmail.com
    In middle of weekend chaos, but will read far more of your blog next week.

    1. Hi Kate, thank you very much for commenting and such kind words. Of course I'm going to disagree that there's anything special or brave about anything, I'm just doing what anyone would, getting on the best I can, which at times is bloody awful. Thanks for reading, lots of love.